Weekend of September 28th & 29th 2002
The predominate problems within Christian marriages are, while going into all would be difficult to say the least, but the three that come to my attention the most often and cover a good 95% are:
First let me get you to understand that any interference with a Christian marriage, any troubles within the marriage of two Born Again Washed in the Blood of the Lamb Christians is caused by satan. And just as satan has many names, so does he have many problems to throw at Christian couples.
The most common problem with the Christian marriage occurs most often when a couple came to Christ after they were married and neither was saved before they were married, sex. Or more specifically, the lack of sex and more often the lack of diverse sex.
Next comes problems with a wife submitting to her husband.
And third is problems dealing with the way the kids are raised.
Let's start with the problem of sex or lack of it in marriage. It seems that what happens is this, a man and a woman live together, they shack up for a couple of years and then for one reason or another get married. During the time they are unsaved, both while living together and married, they have had a very diverse and exciting sex life. But, after getting saved, their sex life becomes one of only vaginal sex for procreation only. At first, he is willing to go along with this, but after a while he starts to get, well let us say, disappointed, saddened and eventually resentful.
How did this happen? Where did they get the idea that God only wants a married couple to have sex to have kids? Well, I am sad to say, they hear it from the pulpit. Too many preachers preach what God meant to say instead of what He did say. They will take various verses out of the Bible and those verses, their own meanings, not stick to what is written and the context in which the verse is used.
My answer to them is simply to repeat Scripture to them. Now there are many, but I am going to limit this to two.
First in the book of Hebrews we read that, all things in marriage are honorable and the marriage bed is undefiled by anything that a married couple do in the course of marriage, but, for those who do anything sexually outside of marriage, God will judge them as whoremongers and adulterers. Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4)
Second is the clearest possible quote, in it we will see that God prohibits men from doing with men what only should be done between man and wife. Not only does He prohibit it, He calls for the execution of those who do anything between two of the same sex that He has reserved for actions between husband and wife. Now what you must bear in mind, is this, if God only meant for husband and wife to engage in vaginal sex, than He would never have been able to say what He did in Leviticus 20:13.
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination:
they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. (Leviticus 20:13)
Ignore for the time being the part about execution and let us just focus on "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination:"
No, let us look further at what God has said here. What we are going to do is look at it as if the preacher who preached that the only sex allowable within married life is vaginal sex and then only for procreation. So, if that were the case God would have said: If a man also lie with mankind and have vaginal sex for procreation with him as he would with a woman they have committed an abomination. That makes no sense, since man can not have vaginal sex with another man, not to mention procreate. So, what is it that men can do between themselves? What is it that women can do between themselves? Those are the things God is prohibiting out side of the marriage bed and specifically prohibiting between two of the same sex. He is using what is good and acceptable between husband and wife as what is wrong and unacceptable between two of the same sex.
Once a Christian husband and wife understand that God created sex, not only to procreate, but made it enjoyable in all aspects for them to enjoy, while it may take them a while, the problems go away. How? by reading God's word for themselves and praying for His help in understanding His word.
The next big problem in Christian marriages is with the wife submitting to her husband and the misconceptions it brings. This one, believe it or not, is really easy to address. God has placed in wives a desire to submit to their husbands. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16) God has taken and placed within the very fiber, soul and conscience of a woman the desire to be ruled by her husband, " and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.". So how is it that so many woman have a hard time submitting or their husbands think they are not submitting properly? Same answer as to the one dealing with sex. The pulpit!
Listen to ten different preachers and you'll get ten different explanations on submission. So, let us once again revert to what God says, for after all, not only did He put into woman the desire to be ruled by her husband, He also created both husband and wife. And no one, but no one, knows the creation better than the Creator. How does a man get his wife to submit to him and what does submit mean?
First let's look at what submit means. It does not mean being a slave! What it means is deferring to his judgement. And how does a man get his wife to submit? Well he does it by being to his family what Christ is to the church and doing for his family what Christ did for His church.
Let us go to Scripture:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones. (Ephesians 5:22-30)
So, it boils down to this, if a man treats his wife as Jesus treats His church, if he is willing to suffer and die for her, if he is willing to treat his wife with as much love as he treats his testicles, his wife will submit to him in everything, just as the Born Again Washed in the Blood of the Lamb Christian submits in all things to Jesus.
Now, see the third problem, the one dealing with the raising of children? Well, go back to the answer of submission by wives and read it like this:
So, it boils down to this, if a man treats his children as Jesus treats His church, if he is willing to suffer and die for his children, if he is willing to treat his children with as much love as he treats his eyes, his children will obey him, just as the Born Again Washed in the Blood of the Lamb Christians obey Jesus.
And to all three, add this: and prayer. Pray for the Lord's help with your wife and with your children. And lead your family in daily worship, for as you don't understand the word of God by listening to commentary by preachers, nor do they. Daily prayer and daily Bible study and devotions by the entire family led by the man of the house is all that is needed.
May the Lord our God, Messiah Yeshua be with and bless you all, may He hear your prayers and help you to be the man He wants you to be. And may He cause revival on the pulpits of this nation, may He open the eyes of those who preach what He said, not what they want Him to have said. And Lord help wives and husbands to thoroughly enjoy that gift of sex that You gave to them.
God blessed America when she feared Him, now it appears, she may face His wrath.
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